Passing Notes

Sometimes kids are reluctant to write because their skills aren't keeping up with all the fascinating things they want to say and the creative vocabulary they use. We can let them know that we value what they say even without perfect mechanics. In fact, we need to let them know.

Why not tear a piece of paper in half and write a quick note to your child while you're sitting on the couch beside him? Hand it to him with a giggle, and he'll probably want to write one back. Most of us would. There's something playful that happens when we write notes back and forth instead of talking. The torn paper is an unspoken signal that the note can be messy and imperfect.

If you don't want to sit next to each other writing notes, you could put them in your child's room for him to find and respond to, or use a dry erase board to leave each other messages or jokes. Just make sure he doesn't feel like getting it right is more important than saying something fun.

On page 160 of Peter Elbow's Vernacular Eloquence, he discusses inkshedding that a couple Canadian writing teachers came up with. They taught a writing class in which there was no speaking. Only writing. All communication in the class had to be written. Their premise was to show that writing is two-way communication and to infuse into writing, the feeling we get when we speak. That we can say what we want to say and the words are gone after they've served their purpose. If we can write this way, we feel like what we write is "no big deal" and we can get to our meaning more easily.

Our older kids call this texting. You know that texting is not full of proper punctuation and correct spelling. If we know the writing is going to be thrown out after it has served its purpose, we can relax and just say what we mean. It's true for all of us, not just our kids.

So your job is to pass notes with your children, and see how much more fun they have with writing. And I'm not worried, I expect you'll teach your kids correct mechanics eventually.